Why?
by crazed fanatic anime fan
Summary: Kagomes thoughts on Inuyasha and his treatment of her inuyahsa's thoughts on kagome it is better than it sounds please just read and review thanx I don't own Inuyasha
1. Kagome

Hey people, I was feeling depressed when I wrote this I know that It is out of character for me.

Why:

            Why? Why does he hate me?  Why does he call me names and make fun of me?  Why does he say that I hit him and hate him?  Why does he ignore me and say I 'm nothing to him?  Why does he say I'm worthless and I can't do anything?  What does he mean when he says he hates me?  What does he mean when he calls me retard?  Why does he call me retard?  I am not slow and those who are, are special they are innocent and kind. 

            Why does he call me stupid?  What does it mean?  I am not stupid I am quite smart, I think.  

            Why does he let me run?  Then forget me?  Or sometimes even come after me?  Does he mean it when he apologizes?  Or does he just say it to get out of trouble?  Why?

            Can't we get along?  I love him.  As hard as it is to admit it is sometimes to admit it I do.  I love him with all of my heart.  Even when he teases me, when he tortures me, when he tells me I am stupid.  

Maybe he hates me and just bares my company because he has to; or maybe just maybe there is another possibility.  Maybe he hides his true feelings; maybe he wishes he could tell me but is afraid I will reject him.  Is it possible even in the least that he does these things because…. I can barley even think it; because he actually….. do I dare say it, because he loves me?

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Hey people can you tell I felt better at the end of the fic?  I was kinda upset when I started this but it made me feel much, much, much better.  If you couldn't tell this was a fic in Kagome's point of view.  It was her reflections on Inuyasha and his treatment of her.  Also a slight reflection on something that happened in my life a while back well, review please and unless you people want more on this, this is a one shot but if you want more I will write more on it.  


	2. Inuyasha

CFAF: heya people I got another review so I will therefore continue this fic.  Yep…it will probably get a lot less depressing though…do I look like I am capable of doing that depressing of stuff on whim?

Inuyasha: *whispers* they can't see you… 

CFAF oh…well…than I guess I will just get on with the story.

Chapter 2: Inuyasha

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            I don't understand myself sometimes.  The things that I do don't make sense to me.

            I wish that I could show expression more easily.  The things in my heart stay constantly hidden

            Those that I care for believe that I hate them.  I don't hate them.  I truly like them…one of them I even love.

            I can't show her that.  She would shun me.  Look at me.  I am a demon.  I have dog ears and white hair.  My eyes are a hideous yellow.  I wear baggy read clothes.  And besides she constantly sits me.

            I hate it when she sits me.  I don't mean to make her mad.  I love her.  She is more important to me than my own life. 

She thinks the only reason I stay around her is because she reminds me of Kikyo.  That's not true.  Forget Kikyo.  I don't love Kikyo.  She is a thing of the past.  Once I loved her but now…I don't she killed me.  I understand she did it because of Naraku.  But still she killed me.  Not physically for physically I was alive.  But mentally, spiritually. 

She showed that she didn't trust me enough.  She didn't trust me at all.  She killed me without asking "why" she just assumed that I would break her trust so easily.  But I wouldn't have!!  I loved her than.  I was willing to become human for her.  

But no longer, she is evil and vile now.  She showed that she cannot trust.  She can no longer love either.  She is incapable.  She is filled with hatred.  She calls me evil, but I am not the one who steals souls to stay in a living dead state.  I am not evil she is.

But Kagome, Kagome is different.  She is beautiful!  She is kind.  She hasn't yet left me for long after all that I have done.  I have tormented her.  Called her dumb and stupid, but still she comes back.  Not once hasn't she come back. I am sure there are those moments where she would have liked to stay away forever but she didn't.  She came back.  I don't often apologize but still she comes back.  And she apologizes for things that I have done.  Things that aren't her fault!  

But for some reason I can't express my feelings for her.  I am always somehow allured by Kikyo when she comes about.  As if I still love her but I don't!  I know deep in my heart that my soul is devoted to Kagome but when Kikyo comes about I doubt.  But when Kikyo is not around, my whole heart belongs to Kagome.  No matter how many times I disobey her.  

I chase Shippo, the little runt.  He can be infinitely more annoying than any creature on this earth or any other.  Yet he manages to capture Kagome's affection as I cannot.  It often strikes me as unfair.  He is a little annoying runt and she protects him more than anyone else.  She stands up to me and sits me when I chase him…I would never hurt him…not truly, that would really make Kagome mad and I could never do that.

            I pretend as if I don't care about Kagome in the least.  Saying the only reason I keep her around is to be my shard detector.  Or my ramen provider, but that's a lie.  I don't kill her or leave because I love her.  I wouldn't let anything happen to her.  Ever.  I would die before I let her get hurt.  I love her.

            Now if I could just tell her this.  I try I have tried several times.  But whenever I talk to her I get tongue tied.  I end up insulting her.  Because of course me being me I can NEVER be at a loss for words…And the few times I am NOT at a loss for words someone shows up…whether it be Shippo, Miroku, or Sango, or even just a demon…someone always shows up.

            I will tell her someday…I promise myself…on the tetsuiga I promise one day…I WILL tell Kagome how I feel…I Inuyasha will tell her someday how I feel, one day.  Whether it be years from now or days…I will tell her.

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CFAF: where did THAT come from?!  Its MUSH its MUSH how could I WRITE THAT!!  ME How could I do that!?  Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah

Inuyasha: I don't like Kagome really I don't!  I promise!

CFAF: I don't like liars Inuyasha.

Inuyasha: just don't tell her please

CFAF: No promises Inuyasha no promises.

Inuyahsa: nooooooooooooooooooooooooo

CFAF: maybe I should take angst off the thingy ma jig …maybe not   but hey read and review please!  And thanks to 

Roxy the wolf demon, Purple witchy angel, and sesshomarulover for reviewing chapter one.  Yep thanks.


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